Priceless Ass
by Emono
Summary: Ted has always played Cody's big brother, has always kept him from being pawed over by every other guy. And in the WWE, it's even harder to keep his mouth shut. But maybe it's not Cody they're whistling at? SLASH!


**Title**: Priceless Ass  
**Author**: Emono  
**Rating**: FRM  
**Fandom**: Wrestling  
**Pairings**: Randy Orton/Ted DiBiase (Randiasi), hints of Jeff/Cody  
**Summary: **Ted has always played Cody's big brother. He's always kept animals from pawing at Cody, and now's no different.  
**Disclaimer**: The WWE is not mine nor are any of it's child branches, it is the 96% property of the McMahon's and God bless the bastards that work for them. I respect the sexual preferences and identities of all the wrestlers on WWE roster, and who they share a bed with is really none of my business.  
**Warnings**: Catcalling, smut

Ted and Cody made their way to their dressing room, their match with Cryme Tyme successful but still left them pretty sore. Still in their ring gear, they walked past their co-workers with only cold water and a hot shower in mind.

A catcall rang out through the call, "Hey, pretty Priceless, you wanna bring some of that fine ass over here?"

"Ignore him" Ted muttered to his best friend, putting a hand on his shoulder blade and leading him down the other hall "Don't even listen."

Cody gave him a strange look, but obeyed.

It had always been this way with them, ever since they were teenagers. Cody was a pretty boy, a cute smile and big-blues that just made you melt. For years, men and women had catcalled and pawed at the younger man. And Ted, being the big brother Dustin couldn't bother to be, had always been protective. He stuck by Cody at clubs, if only to make sure to make sure no one slipped him a roofie, and kept by his side within the WWE industry. He knew that if he were there, no one would try anything, and he had been right. He would always be there for his friend, ready to play knight in shining armor.

Of course, Cody's own boyfriend would do it for sure, but Jeff was on _Smackdown_ and couldn't be around as much as he wanted.

And oh the baby-brother talks Ted and Matt had shared, the _worry_.

So, still, the responsibilities fell to Ted.

x**L**x**E**x**G**x**A**x**C**x**Y**x

"I'm tellin' ya, Randy, he's gonna get raped" Ted informed his lover over a hotel breakfast in their room.

Randy gave a little snort of amusement over the rim of his coffee, "I wouldn't allow it."

"Yer not around all the time" Ted pointed out "The guys here are a bunch of horndogs, you and I both know it."

"No one wants to tangle with Hardy, and no one would dare fuck with us" Randy assured him "He's fine. It's _you_ I'm worried about being raped."

"Me?" Ted gave a little laugh, spearing a piece of egg with his fork "I've never been catcalled in my life."

x**L**x**E**x**G**x**A**x**C**x**Y**x

It happened again after a Legacy promo.

Mickie James and Gail Kim were just leaning against the wall, watching as they went by with hungry eyes.

"Oh, baby!" Mickie called shamelessly once they were far enough away "Bring that Priceless 'thang over here! Give up the dick and let us rock your world, Blue-Eyes."

"Divas too now?" Ted scoffed, letting his hand rest in it's usual spot on Cody's neck and quickening his pace "I swear, Codes, it's like yer nothing but a piece of meat. Don't even listen to them, Baby-boy, not a word, ok?"

Cody's brow creased, "Teddy-"

"The nerve of some people" Ted scowled, looking straight ahead "Yer a kid to some of them, most of those pervs are ten years your senior!"

Randy blinked at him like he'd grown a third head, "Ted, you don't-"

"Yes I do" Ted pulled Cody closer protectively, giving him a chaste kiss on the temple "You're my best friend Codes, and Jeff trusts me in keeping you happy and safe. You don't need these cougars and horndogs leering at you all the time, it ain't good for ya."

The other two just shrugged, letting the blonde do whatever he wanted.

x**L**x**E**x**G**x**A**x**C**x**Y**x

The straw that broke the proverbial camel's back happened during _The Bash_, when Edge and Jericho won the Unified Tag-Team Championship belts.

Randy met up with them right after, they had about twenty minutes before the cameras recorded their little "fight" and he wanted to check on his boys.

"You guys ok?" Randy ran his fingers through his lover's blonde hair, feeling the lump that was forming there "How's your head?"

"Shoulda been more careful of those turnbuckles" Ted managed a smile "I'm ok."

It just so happens Jericho and Edge were standing nearby, watching with matching smirks.

"Did you see that little bitch squirming on the mat?" Chris asked rather loudly "Real damn fuckable, with those little gasps of pain. Could you imagine how hot that would look under you?"

"Oh hell yeah, man" Edge turned towards Legacy (who were staring right at them), holding out his hand and crooking a finger at them "Why don't you come over here and I'll show that sweet, Priceless ass what a _real_ man can do?"

"That's it" Randy hissed, beyond pissed now "I've fucking had it!"

Ted and Cody watched on as their leader jumped on his ex-tag team partner and started beating up on him for real. They rassled around on the floor, both getting in a few punches, but without Chris's help (who was on the floor laughing now), Edge lost the upper hand and ended up with a busted lip and a bloody nose.

"You tell everybody in the locker room this" Randy growled in the blonde's face "Keep your eyes off my boy. No more remarks about your sick little fantasies, 'cause he's taken. Tell them all to shut their mouths and quit treating him like a piece of meat! You hear me?!"

Adam nodded, knowing when he'd lost.

Randy tossed the blonde away in disgust, getting up off the floor to stalk back to his Legacy.

Ted's heart ached at the display, eyes teared up, "Shit, Randy, you didn't have to go _that_ ape-shit over it. You acted like Cody's the one you're dating."

It hurt to think his lover considered Cody his boy.

Randy peered at him curiously, disbelief in his eyes, "Teddy, baby, they were talking about _you_."

The blonde faltered, "What?"

"Yeah, Teddy, didn't you know?" Cody inquired, seeing for the first time that his friend was oblivious "You're the one with the Priceless trunks on."

Ted looked down at his red trunks, fingering the hem, "Yeah, but…it's always been you, Codes."

"No, man, it's you" Cody poked him playfully "You're the one everybody's been shouting at. No one's done it at me since I got with Jeff a year ago."

"Oh" Ted was flushed with embarrassment "I-I just assumed…"

"You really _are_ clueless to how sexy you are, aren't you?" Randy brought him in close, stealing a quick kiss "It's _your_ priceleess ass everyone's been coveting."

"Randy, don't say that" Ted smacked him in the chest, flushed "It's bad enough when _they_ do it."

"It doesn't matter" Randy carded his fingers through blonde hair, sliding his lips down to kiss at his neck "Cause our ass and the rest of you are mine."

Chris gave a low whistle, even as he picked Adam up off the floor.

"Don't listen to him" Randy whispered "Don't listen to a word of that shit."

Ted sighed happily.

After years of saying those words of Cody…it was nice to hear it back for once.

* * *

**I coulda swore I posted this, since I wrote it about two weeks ago. Seriously? Is this double-posted? Whatever. The point is, here you go. Love it? Hate it? Tired of Randiasi yet? *looks at Legacy muses* I sure as hell am**


End file.
